HomeREADING: Shakespeare, from “Romeo and Juliet”
Setting: Romeo kills Tybalt, cousin to Juliet, fears she is now estranged, deserves death but this commuted to banishment. Romeo is in deep tears because he will never see Juliet again. He then learns Juliet still loves him. Friar Lawrence attempts to turn his vision to the good that has happened, but Romeo in his despair cannot see any good at all, and draws his sword to kill himself. And to this the Friar speaks:
FRIAR: Hold thy desperate hand.
Art thou a man? Thy form cries out thou art;
Thy tears are womanish, thy wild acts denote
The unreasonable fury of a beast.
Unseemly woman is a seeming man!
And ill-beseeming beast in seeming both!
Thou hast amazed me. By my holy order,
I thought thy disposition better tempered.
Hast thou slain Tybalt? Wilt thou slay thyself?
And slay thy lady that in thy life lives,
By doing damnèd hate upon thyself?
Why railest thou on thy birth, the heaven, and earth?
Since birth and heaven and earth, all three do meet
In thee at once; which thou at once wouldst lose.
Fie, fie, thou shamest thy shape, thy love, thy wit,
Which, like a userer, abound'st in all,
And uses none in that true sense indeed
Which should bedeck thy shape, thy love, thy wit.
Thy noble shape is but a form of wax,
Digressing from the valor of a man;
Thy dear love sworn but hollow perjury,
Killing that love which thou hast vowed to cherish;
Thy wit, that ornament to shape and love,
Misshapen in the conduct of them both,
Like powder in a skilless soldier's flask,
Is set afire by thine own ignorance,
And thou dismemb'red with thine own defense.
What, rouse thee, man! Thy Juliet is alive,
For whose dear sake thou wast but lately dead.
There art thou happy. Tybalt would kill thee,
But thou slewest Tybalt. There are thou happy too.
The law, that threat'ned death, becomes thy friend
And turns it to exile. There art thou happy.
A pack of blessings light upon thy back;
Happiness courts thee in her best array;
But, like a misbehaved and sullen wench,
Thou pout'st upon thy fortune and thy love.
Take heed, take heed, for such die miserable.
SERMON:
Good Morning!
It is Thanksgiving time and some of us are in a happy state of preparation for this and the full string of holidays coming up. I enjoy Thanksgiving for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that I love to eat.
I also take great pleasure in cooking, and though others have offered top relieve me of the burden of doing so at Thanksgiving, it is a burden I choose to keep for now.
This also is a wonderful time for our family as we all get together and share time, laughter and food.
There is always now the poignant aspect to Thanksgiving for my family as eight years ago it was the last time that we were all together with my father; he died on December 5, just ten days later.
I do wish to recognize that this year there will be other people who gather together with a loved one missing from the gathering, separated by geography or by emotions or by death. To you I offer my sympathies, based upon my own deep sense of loss. I know the difficult time the holidays can be, and that this difficulty may be heightened by the number of happy gatherings around you. Let us pause for a moment of acknowledgement for all who are mourning, or sad or lonely and for whom Thanksgiving this year will be at least tinged with sadness.
(Pause)
May comfort and peace, however small, stir in the heart of each and every person. May good memories soften the pain and sorrow of loss.
This is the time of Thanksgiving, when we count our blessings, acknowledge the gifts that we have received from life or from other people, and open our hearts to the wonder that each of those gifts is.
I chose the reading from Shakespeare this morning because it highlights one of the issues I sometimes have, the issue of ignoring a gift when it is given, of failing to be grateful for what I receive and for what I already have in full abundance.
In the story, Romeo is distraught about his circumstances and the Friar attempts to point out to him all of the truly wonderful things that have happened for him in a brief period of time. His life has been spared twice, once because Tybalt failed to kill him and once because the Prince lifted the death sentence that was hanging over him. But was he grateful? No. (I almost read that like John Belushi might have on Saturday Night Live.)
What happens is that after much effort to get Romeo to see that things aren’t all that bad, the Friar becomes thoroughly frustrated and fed up and verbally lights into him. In one movie version of the play that I saw the Friar during this speech actually chased Romeo around the room slapping and kicking him, an expression of full frustration and, I suppose, a kind of western medieval Zen monk teaching approach.
That confrontational approach is sometimes the right thing to do with someone who is in despair. Not always. One should choose carefully when using that therapy. There are some people jump right to that first thing, at least metaphorically slapping and kicking, and do so with everyone. Not helpful. Empathy is usually the right place to start. But there are times when that confrontational approach is the only way to get through to someone, and when it is the right approach for a particular person.
I need that sometimes. Sometimes I forget how much I have to be Thankful for and I need a bit of a tough love approach to remind me just what I have. Not always; sometimes. Sometimes it is another person who does it for me. Like the Friar talking to Romeo I may find that when I become overly concerned about the things I do not have that there is a volunteer around who is perfectly happy to tell me what a jerk I am.
And sometimes it is not a person who tells me this. Sometimes the universe is quite happy to oblige that need. Often it’s over little things. So, for example, the universe looks at me and it says, “Oh, so you are taking for granted the water that comes into your house through pipes from the well. No problem. Zap, there goes your water pump.”
Now I do indeed take that water for granted. Most days I turn on the tap and think nothing of the fact that water comes out. There are people on this planet who have no water, or who have to walk long distances for water. I don’t. It’s right there. But I rarely appreciate that fact. And so twice in the last ten years, the water god has shut off my water supply. Or maybe it was the water pump god, I don’t know. In any event, the water pump shut down twice and in each case it was days before it was up and running again. And you know, when that water came on again, I really appreciated it and gave thanks for it. But only for a little while. That’s why the pump went off the second time, I’m sure. The universe looked at me and said, “I thought I taught you a lesson there. No, you didn’t get it? Well, okay then. Zap number two. Appreciate it now?”
I appreciate it so much that I’m preaching about it.
But the universe can also remind us about the larger blessings we have. We can focus so much on the little or on the irrelevant that we forget the large things.
Having running water in my home is a convenient thing. It is not a necessary thing. And it is not that I don’t appreciate it, because I do; I am not asking for another lesson in gratitude; it is that I am recognizing that there are even more important things than running water, and that I have a lot of those.
In my particular case I have a life partner whom I love very deeply, and who seems for some unfathomable reason to feel the same way about me. That alone is worth celebrating with a Thanksgiving dinner.
I have a daughter whom I love, and whose existence is a miracle. She is coming home for Thanksgiving. In the Biblical story of the Prodigal Son the father sees his son coming home and prepares a feast with the fatted calf. How nice that my child is coming home not following a time of disaffection but because she loves us and wishes to be with us. That is worthy of a feast of Thanksgiving.
I have two brothers and two nephews. I have a mother who still lives and lives well.
I am surrounded by love.
And much of the time I take it for granted. I do.
There are times when despite the manifold blessings I have in life I become full of self-pity. I ought to take heed because the universe might take note of that, as well, and might choose to remind me that all things are impermanent.
I can pout about a bunch of different things, you know. I can pout because my TV breaks; I can pout because there are a lot of dishes to do; I can pout because the lawn needs mowing again or the leaves need mulching again; I can pout because there’s a tear in my jacket; I can pout abut a whole lot of things.
The Friar said to Romeo:
A pack of blessings light upon thy back;
Happiness courts thee in her best array;
But…Thou pout'st upon thy fortune….
Take heed, take heed, for such die miserable.
And such do run the risk of dying miserable, don’t they. But that is partly because of how they live, for such live miserable. When we focus upon what we do not have, we live miserable.
Now, everyone is entitled to be unhappy at some point in their life. In fact, some are entitled to be unhappy at every point in their life. But if you want to spend at least a bit of time happy instead of unhappy, then look to what you do have in life. (I’m just speaking to me here.) Look to what you do have in life.
I suspect that every person in this room has a lot to be thankful for. Life has bestowed multiple bounties upon each of us.
What it has done is it has given us different gifts in different measure, and that is part of our problem. If I compare myself to others, looking only at what they have and not at what they lack, then I can convince myself am greatly cheated by life.
If I look at the gifts that I have, then I can know that I am greatly blessed.
And if I can know that life itself is a gift, that my life did not have to be, that my ability to see, to hear, to speak, to feel physical sensation and emotional sensation, each of these is a gift; if I can know that, then I will never again question whether I have things to be grateful for.
Well, I will question that again. That is part of my nature, and I suspect part of human nature. But with awareness I will question it less, and I will be happier for it.
Thanksgiving Day asks us to spend one day—one day—recognizing the bounty we have.
I give myself the following charge:
If on Thanksgiving Day, or any day, you see one person whom you love, give thanks to the universe for that.
If on Thanksgiving Day, or on any day, you have one moment of laughter or love or sharing with one other person or one other being, give thanks to whatever spirit you believe in.
If on Thanksgiving Day, or on any day, you have one meal that fills your belly, give thanks for that.
If on Thanksgiving Day, or on any day, you have one morsel of food that actually tastes good, that fills your moth with flavor and savor, give thanks to whatever gods may be.
If on Thanksgiving Day, or on any day, you wake up alive and able to see a flower or smell the air or feel the breeze in your face or hear the rain on your roof, give thanks to whatever has formed the universe that it exists and that you are here to witness to its beauty.
A pack of blessings light upon thy back;
Happiness courts thee in her best array;
May I not pout upon my fortune; may I be thankful for the blessings I have received.
Return to
Home
Return to Sermons Index